别人都去撞南牆了，我去修南牆一定很賺錢。

　　Everyone else has hit the south wall. I must make a lot of money to repair the south wall.

　　化妝品對女人而言，是信心；對男人而言，是幻覺。

　　Cosmetics are confidence for women; For men, its an illusion.

　　詛咒欺負我們的人，吃面條時把鼻涕吃進去。

　　Curse our bullies and eat their snot when they eat noodles.

　　生活看成像白面一樣，其實不能做太多，否則面不夠

　　Life looks like white flour. In fact, you cant do too much, otherwise the face is not enough

　　我讨厭的事實是，你說你想我，但你卻什麼都不做。

　　I hate the fact that you say you miss me, but you dont do anything.

　　某日，白素貞放了個屁，許仙恍然大悟道：“娘子，莫非你是響尾蛇。”

　　One day, Lady White Snake farted, and Xu Xian suddenly realized, Lady, are you a rattlesnake?

　　創新，就是把睡過兩個月的床單拿起來抖抖，反過來再鋪上。

　　Innovation is to pick up the sheets that have been slept for two months, shake them, and spread them in turn.

　　早知道找個女朋友這麼難，我就定娃娃親了。

　　If I had known it was so difficult to find a girlfriend, I would have decided on young marriage.

　　朋友圈發自拍不要太過分，我們可是見過面的。

　　Dont take selfies too much in the circle of friends, we have met before.

　　你願意做我的太陽嗎？那麼請與我保持92955886.7公裡。

　　Would you like to be my sun? Then please keep 92955886.7 kilometers with me.

　　幸虧長得醜，沒有經曆過你們撕心裂肺的愛恨情仇。

　　Fortunately, I am ugly and have never experienced your heart-rending love and hate.

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